Trader Joe's Tuesday Treats: Blueberry Muffins

Everything's Coming Up Milhouse!

Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be.

Or for the Interstellar lovers, a riff on Murphy’s Law: “whatever can happen will happen.” Whether you resonate most with spirituality, song, or narrative film, there are countless expressions available to frame the philosophical sense that everything happens for a reason.

When things happen that burden or challenge us, it can be difficult to revere whatever cosmic order has put us in such uncomfortable or unfortunate positions. On the other hand, when everything seems to fall into place, we can’t help but marvel at the positive outcome of our karmic position.

It’s strangely satisfying to finally bring a big jar of loose change into the bank, only to discover we’ve unwittingly collected an exact dollar amount to be deposited into our account. There is a special triumph in pulling up to a parking spot just as someone has vacated it—especially in notoriously high-density areas. And when we’re famished after a long hard shift at work, stumbling into a delicious blueberry muffin is a deeply delightful stroke of good fortune.

I stayed late at the restaurant last Saturday to help my bartender close up her department. When I walked her to her car, she offered me a Trader Joe’s Blueberry Muffin. This act of generosity was entirely unsolicited; I was hungry and eagerly obliterated the muffin, but I hadn’t indicated to my colleague that I wanted anything from her. She just offered it.

What made this gift so special, on top of its sweetness and substantive nourishment, was that I had never had a Trader Joe’s muffin before. After six months of writing Trader Joe’s Tuesday Treats, it actually gets a little difficult to identify new and exciting products to feature. My bartender didn’t just feed me when I needed it the most, she introduced me to something I enjoyed so much that I can now enthusiastically share with you in this weekly installment of my Trader Joe’s series.

Blueberry is a good muffin. In fact, it may be the best of all the muffins. So in fairness, among the countless versions available on the market it must be acknowledged that Trader Joe’s version is nowhere near the best. If you’re craving a really good blueberry muffin, just go to your local bakery before 8 am and take advantage of a freshly baked delicacy that is almost certainly superior to any mass-produced, grocery store version.

That said, if you’re already at Trader Joe’s and you want to add a nice baked good to your cart or basket, I absolutely endorse their blueberry muffins. They’re plenty good enough—especially at the end of a long day when you’re just plain hungry and need something satisfying.

Fair warning: Prepare to eat two Trader Joe’s blueberry muffins. American consumer culture has completely destroyed any reasonable semblance of portion size, which means a majority of blueberry muffins these days have become comically large. The typical blueberry muffin—like the big gulp and the big mac—now contains two to three actual servings in one comestible item. Trader Joe’s keeps their muffins a normal size, but if you’ve grown up with American super-sized consumption habits like me, that just means you’re going to want two.

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