Trader Joe's Tuesday Treats: Colossal Olives Stuffed with Garlic Cloves
Nobody drinks martinis these days. More olives for the rest of us.
It took a few months to settle into my new apartment, but once I had art hung on the wall, furniture in place, and custom-made Etsy rugs tying the room together I threw a little housewarming party to consecrate the space.
I ordered charcuterie and cheese platters, which were total hits—but stocking the bar was a little trickier. How do you prepare for every appetite without breaking the bank? I bought tequila, bourbon, beer, White Claws, non-alcoholic beverages, wine, and vodka. I assumed someone might make a martini, so in addition to the vodka I bought a little vermouth and some garlic-stuffed olives.
But martinis, as it turns out, are for squares. Nobody touched the vodka. It wasn’t until my birthday party nine months later when an emphasis on Moscow Mules enabled me to liquidate most of a bottle of Tito’s. But what to do with the garlic-stuffed olives?
Eventually, I just opened the jar and started eating them. And my god, were they delicious. Trader Joe’s Colossal Olives Stuffed with Garlic Cloves provide almost no nutritional value and pack a heavy portion of sodium, but it’s hard to care when I’m craving a savory, satisfying snack. When I finished that first jar, I immediately replaced it with a new one. These bad boys have been a staple in my fridge ever since.
Garlic cloves are one of my all-time favorite treats, and whoever first realized they could stick one inside a pitted olive deserves inordinate acclaim. Thank you so much, unknown ancient Greek culinary genius. And thank you to Trader Joe’s for packing and selling them by the jarfull.
Fair warning: humans need sodium, but only in small doses. Try not to enjoy more than two or three olives at once. Your heart, kidney, and bones will thank you.
ICYMI, check out these related essays:
Trader Joe's Tuesday Treats: World's Puffiest White Cheddar Corn Puffs
Powdered cheese made from real cheddar makes it damn near impossible to stop once you’ve started consuming these corn puffs. Because they’re incredibly light and airy, even if you have no appetite there will be little preventing you from returning for handful after cheesy handful.
Trader Joe's Tuesday Treats: Mediterranean Style Orzo Pasta Salad
Trader Joe’s excels at a lot of things. To-go prepackaged meals is generally not one of them. There is, in my view, precisely one exception to this Trader Joe’s no go zone (unless you’re truly desperate): Mediterranean Style Orzo Pasta Salad.
Trader Joe's Tuesday Treats: Sweet Picanté Peppers
Many years ago when I first embraced fine dining as a professional/recreational activity, my elder restaurant colleagues introduced me to Solera, a gorgeous Spanish standout nestled in the Downtown Minneapolis theater district.
I absolutely love a dirty vodka martini, with lots of olives and some ice!! Nowadays, with respect to my Type 2 diabetes, I rarely partake anymore but I may have to indulge after reading this!!
If you think those are good, try the jalapeño stuffed olives. Mmmmm!