Trader Joe's Tuesday Treats: World's Puffiest White Cheddar Corn Puffs
A Junk Food Staple for a Night of Must-See TV
At 9pm EST / 6pm PST tonight President Trump will address a joint session of congress for the first time this term. Presidents don’t usually give State of the Union addresses in their first year of office, which is why this event doesn’t carry that specific label. Tonight will still include all the pomp and circumstance surrounding a traditional State of the Union address. There will be a designated survivor, endless applause, and an opposition party response delivered by Michigan Senator Elissa Slotkin.
In fact, independent Senator Bernie Sanders has also announced his intention to deliver a televised response to Trump’s address. It remains to be seen whether the Vermont firebrand will appear before or after Senator Slotkin, but either way we are in for a night of great TV.
Given the insanity of a political era defined by a reality TV president, we can expect an above-average volume of sparks, spectacle and surprises throughout the joint address to congress. Get your popcorn ready.
More specifically, I recommend you skip actual popcorn and audible to its weird, artificial cousin: Trader Joe’s World's Puffiest White Cheddar Corn Puffs. Aside from the fact that both products are made from corn, these highly addictive puffs have almost nothing in common with real popcorn. You could even make a bowl of popcorn and enjoy the significant difference these two snacks bring to your watch party. Even if you do, you’re more likely to obliterate the corn puffs as they are too damn addictive for their own good.
Powdered cheese made from real cheddar makes it damn near impossible to stop once you’ve started consuming these corn puffs. Because they’re incredibly light and airy, even if you have no appetite there will be little preventing you from returning for handful after cheesy handful. My best advice is to open a bag in the presence of a large group, so you can crush it together rather than all by yourself—a feat I have shamefully achieved on more than one occasion.
The state of our union may or may not be strong. Trump may or may not even use that time-honored cliché during his remarks tonight. Expect the unexpected, but whatever happens, make sure you’ve got a solid lineup of snacks to hold you over during this roller coaster of must-see TV.
Fair warning: Prepare for sticky, messy hands. Trader Joe’s World’s Puffiest Cheddar Corn Puffs don’t rise to the world-historic levels of hand grime found in a bag of Cheetos or Doritos, but they’re on the same wavelength. You will inevitably wash your hands, or if you want to be proactive, a damp paper towel will suffice. The state of our snacking is strong.
ICYMI, check out these related essays:
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Trader Joe's Tuesday Treats: Marinated Artichokes on the Go
Artichokes, am I right? These Mediterranean vegetables are so delicious, yet unbelievably labor-intensive to clean and prepare. Whenever I encounter artichokes on a restaurant’s menu, I almost always indulge. Too much trouble to prepare at home, too good to pass up when someone else does the work.
Trader Joe's Tuesday Treats: Roasted & Salted Rosemary Marcona Almonds
Marcona are one of the finest species of almonds, and the roasted rosemary accentuates these little delicacies far better than the alternative, truffled version available next to them on the Trader Joe’s shelf.
These almonds pack both mega flavor and nutritional benefits, a truly top-tier snack. I also love them in salads for their crunch and savory zest.
Do you realize that TJ’s is contesting the National Labor Relations Board over their authority to rule on labor violations in league with Starlink among other anti-labor corporations and their uber wealthy owners?
Brings back memories ❤️