Josh Shapiro for President

The Epstein establishment's golden boy

Jeffrey Epstein is on the ballot. His name is Josh Shapiro.

The late pedophile and sex-trafficker may not be eligible for office, but a bipartisan class of incumbent political elites carry his legacy of systemic abuse, corruption, and deference to oligarchic power. Where outrage at the Epstein scandal once bubbled up almost entirely from the right, the Trump administration’s absorption of Epstein’s villain status has now united the country against both the literal crimes and the structural violence of the long-ruling Epstein class.

The disastrous war on Iran has only cemented Epstein as an enduring symbol of everything wrong with the exercise of American power. Where credible, running against the Epstein class will play to a candidate’s advantage in both primary and general elections for the foreseeable future. The Epstein stink, on the other hand, could tank an otherwise strong campaign.

Consider JB Pritzker. As far as formerly AIPAC-aligned billionaires are concerned, when it comes to progressive priorities Pritzker is as good as it gets. A loose familial affiliation may nonetheless be enough to prevent the Illinois Governor from entering a Democratic presidential contest he has been widely rumored to be considering – his cousin Thomas Pritzker stepped down from a prominent position in the family business after revelations of long and close ties with Epstein and his co-conspirator Ghislaine Maxwell. The deeper risk for anyone aspiring to lead the Democrats to victory in 2028 is not the superficial taint of the toxic Epstein brand – it’s the ideological orientation and governance record that would get one slotted into the Epstein lane of the primary: cue Josh Shapiro.

We used to narrate Democratic primaries through the lens of viable lanes: insider versus outsider, moderate versus progressive. Before one could battle one-on-one on a debate stage, they’d have to box similarly marketed opponents out of their desired lane. The old Cartesian lines are still faintly visible, but the emerging primary electorate appears to have drawn new lines along the axis of top versus bottom and systemic defenders versus anti-system insurgents. While Pritzker could position himself in the bottom-up, anti-system lane, a candidate like Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro can only credibly run in the top-down, systemic defender lane: the Epstein lane.